He loves to run like a maniac, doing laps around the play area. Typical crazy energetic 3 yr old. Mothers near me laughing, Wow can he run and for long periods of time, he should be on track when he gets older. I want to cry tears of joy. Them not knowing his back ground, his journey and his continuing journey.
He was not the typical case of clubbed feet and I will be honest I applaud anybody that has been through this journey as its a tough one… many tears shed by both of us. From the diagnosis during pregnancy to the treatments. I say its not typical as I did know like most during pregnancy but unlike most I know the exact cause. Even worse he had far more problems going on than clubbed feet. I had an amniocentesis that went completely wrong. My amniotic sac ruptured at 15 weeks causing low fluid. The lack of fluid was the direct cause of his clubbed feet and am so thankful it wasn’t worse or affected other body parts or organs. He didn’t grow properly, I was in danger of infection and going into preterm labor at an time. His survival rate was poor, his total situation was bleak and to be told he was going to have clubbed feet was a minor issue. He had to survive first. I was upset as at that point I knew that he wasn’t coming out of this with nothing and that just compounded on everything else that he was facing and painted an even grimmer picture. In fact it was so minor I didn’t mention it to anybody. How could I, when all I was hoping was he would survive and no more problems were found.
With all that mess going on don’t you know he went to 38 weeks!!! Tiny at 5 lbs 8 oz but otherwise doing great! And of course the only thing other than him being small that they got right were of course his clubbed feet. They taped his feet up right away and he was cast at 2 days old in hopes it was more a position easy fix but it wasn’t. Went the way of everybody else, another casting and then the boots and bar. I hated strapping on the boots and bar. He hated them too. I cried as I knew it made him uncomfortable. All I wanted was to snuggle him and take the pain away, not feed him pain meds and keep forcing him to wear them. You have to go against your mother instincts but know its for their own good. Ever fiber of your being is being pulled in different directions. You want so bad to comfort and love them and you do but knowing you are causing his tears and making him an unhappy little soul is hard. Deep breath I would tell myself. it could have been much much worse. Tears would flow down my face thinking about him not making it or months in the NICU with possible complications. I can do this. He fought to be here and I’m going to give him every chance I can to fix his feet. I really can’t imagine if i didn’t have that scenario in my head how even harder it would be. That it could be worse really got me by in the darkest hours.
Then there are the long nights, blisters, the little escape artist, the checking his feet all the time, finding footless outfits, what works and what doesn’t as far as baby gear and SOCKS! Its a whole new world. Having had 2 children before, nothing applied. Tons of appointments or to get fitted with the boots and bar as they are growing constantly and to check his progress. If that wasn’t bad enough then there’s the stares whether it be in boots and bar or even worse the casts. He had his Tenotomy at 7 months old and was in casts for 2 weeks. I hated the stares and sometimes they were from people you least expect like a retired pediatrician that was now doing history lessons at a museum that was curious but did a lot of staring before asking. Along the way I found that he also was flat footed and had metatarsus adductus which would have been nice to know that they do have a tendency to go together instead of wondering if he’s relapsing or why his foot is still misshapen. So we have wonderful SMO’s for that and yet another doctor. As time progresses you see those first tiny steps like everybody else gets to see, then walking and running, jumping and climbing. You know the battle it took to get to this point. It gives you a whole new perspective not to take anything for granted. His life, his accomplishments and overcoming obstacles. While other mothers are telling them not to run or my favorite not to climb up the slide, these are encouraged. Run like the wind little guy, you earned every step of it!
By the way: He was also a model for Fisher Price at 4 months old. I never expected that they would use this picture as you can see his feet poking at the mesh you can see his feet are very crooked. But I know most of its me that notices.